From the beginning....

Before I was even 30 years old I had been married, gave birth to four children and was divorced. I thought that stage of my life was over. Last year on September 29th I got remarried to Paul. He has 2 children of his own. A 22 year old son and an 18 year old daughter. We had the discussion about children and we had decided that we had enough between us . We didn't do anything permanently about it though. Christmas came and went last year and I kind of had a feeling that I might be pregnant. We were using the Today sponge and I know that it isn't 100%. Obviously. On New Years Eve I found out I was expecting. Wow, I was so excited but a little scared. I had just started a new job in May and I was unsure of what a pregnancy would be like at my advanced maternal age of 36. I mean 35 seems to be the cut off even though we all know 40 is the new 35. Anyway we were both happy and that it was kind of neat to have one between the 2 of us. So my pregnancy journey began and everything was going along tickityboo. I was seeing a midwife as my last daughter was born at home. I had never suffered any complications during my pregnancies so surely I was a perfect candidate for midwivery. I had a feeling right from the start that this pregnancy was going to be different. At my 6 week ultrasound they discovered a blighted ovum with another live fetus. So not only did I get pregnant accidentally once but twice!! They told me not too worry about the blighted ovum though. They said it happens all the time. I mean did I really think I could handle 2 of them? At least I had 1 healthy. I passed all my screenings with flying colours. They said I had the same risks as someone in their 20's. At my 20 week ultrasound I found out I was having a boy. That made me a little sad. A lot of people around me wanted me to have a girl since I have 1 girl and 3 boys. I didn't care but their reactions were hard to take. The ultrasound technician said there was something about my boy that was especially cute. She happened to have 2 garbage bags of boy clothes in her car that she was going to drop off at the second hand store that were all brand name. Did I want them? Well I can't turn anything away that is for free. People at work started giving me their stuff as well since they knew I didn't have anything as we were starting all over again. My appts were an hour in length once a month and then changed to bi-weekly after the 20th week. I was growing huge and was packing on the pounds at a rather alarming rate. My blood pressure started to go up. I was referred to a high risk OB/GYN and was put on medication to bring down my blood pressure. I was seeing the midwife and the OB/GYN on a weekly basis. They assured everything was going well. My son's heartbeat was strong, my belly was growing and my blood pressure had stabilized to a normal level.All I had to do was get the room ready and wait. I was spending a small fortune and had everything all ready including the playpen, carseat, stroller, swing, jolly jumper, bassinette, and too many clothes that I am sure he would outgrow before he had a chance to wear them. If I only knew...